The Six Million Dollar Man

I encountered a fascinating website on the Internet the other day. Here it is: http://www.innovate.es/.

If you checked out the pages, you must have noticed the regular 'Contact Us' page on their website. If you want to see how an excellent housing agency contacts its customers, leave a (fake) contact request with your email address! I mean, it took them A FEW HOURS to respond! As you must have noticed, I have taken a habit of publicly showing my private emails here in my blog. So what? I'm going to continue being a stupid ass. So, here goes:

Ariving: 01/09/2011
Duration: 9 months, until the end of May 2012
Rooms required: 0-1
Budget: Up to about xxx euros (haha!)
Areas: Preferably in close proximity of or with excellent connections to Leganés

I'm going to study in Madrid as an exchange student during the next academic year and I'm looking for a place to stay close to the Leganés campus of Universidad Carlos III de Madrid. I'm hoping to find a place without roommates, because I need a place that's truly my own: a place to study and to relax. On top of that, as I will be an exchange student, I'd prefer to find a place that's fully equipped with all the usual necessities.

Jope

And the quicker-than-a-quickie response:

Hello Jope:

I think you are looking for accommodation in Madrid, we do not usually recomend to live in Leganes since it is boring and you are going to misss the flavor of Madri, what you can do  is to live in the south. I will be sending you some options

Kind regards
A Female Person

 And this is what happens when you try to reason with stupid customers:

Hi,

Thanks for your concern, but it just so happens that I can be quite boring myself, too.

I mean, I really am looking for accommodation in Leganés. I'd like to find a place in a neighborhood that's almost as safe, peaceful and quiet as can be. When I wish to find excitement and the flavor of Madrid, I won't mind having to take a bus or two. In other words, please try to stick to options that are in or very close to Leganés and the UC3M campus.

Thank you, really. I like Innova's businness strategy already.

Best regards,

Jope

I really AM boring... But hey, at least I'm stupid. That has to count for something, right?

Ahh, long time no see, eh?  I've been taking a breather from this 'blogging' thingie for a while but life goes forever on. Here's a little something that I've experienced in my absence. (Those of you whose eyes start to boil when reading too much can skip most of the e-mails and go straight to my analysis at the bottom of the post!)

First, a letter to the Administrative personnel of my preferred dorm:

Hi,

If it isn't too much of a trouble, I'd like to verify that I've sent you all the necessary documents for application (including proper documentation of my annual income). Please inform me as soon as possible if you find the papers that I've provided insufficient. I'll be more than happy to send you any additional information that you require.

Sincerely,

Jope

It's nice to know that my girlfriend doesn't like me for the money...

Hi again,

I'm a bit at a loss because I live alone. Who is it that I should include as a family member?

Sincerely,

Jope

Now, here's one of the toughest questions that I've encountered recently (and that's saying for something 'cause I work with the Schrödinger equation, etc.): What is a FAMILY UNIT? I mean for a guy, who lives with his girlfriend and whose parents are long-since divorced, what does it mean? I do like the final interpretation of the 'Person', but... It certainly isn't an obvious answer.

So, all in all I'm rather pleased with the way this all turned out. As the rent of the dorm rooms is progressive (you earn more, you pay more) I'm more than happy that my income of 2009 happened to be, well... Ok, I didn't have any!

The problem here was, of course, the hidden presumptions in the application  rules that every candidate would 1) be living on his/her own for the first time, and 2) be financially supported by their parents. And, as many of you likely know, neither of those two presumptions apply  to the average exchange student from Finland. (I do acknowledge the fact that my parents do help me a bit, yes... No worries troops, I haven't forgotten you!) I won't go into more details about Finnish financial aid for students. Those of you who are interested to find out more, visit Kela – The Social Insurance Institution of Finland.